Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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