Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
