It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize