Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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