You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
