about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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