areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my phone needs a breathalizer
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
