we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
