Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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