Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
