why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
