Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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