What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
