Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I love having hate sex.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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