I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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