So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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