HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
