My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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