i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
