You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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