Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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