A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
