He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
