Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
