Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
