Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
