pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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