There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
