the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
