Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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