Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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