I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Alive.
So much puke
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
