Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
