i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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