I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
