If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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