Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
