i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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