what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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