sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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