didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
