Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
