I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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