we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
