why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
