Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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