It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
