(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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