I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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