so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize