Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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(301): View more from Maryland

the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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(309): View more from Illinois

I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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(785): View more from Kansas

one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

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(516): View more from New York

This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo

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