Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
