its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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