I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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