her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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