I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no, he came in my armpit
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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