Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
