I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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