Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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