I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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