I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
