I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
