Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
