why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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