and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
