i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found your dick twin last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
