just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
