dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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